I spent over two hours waiting for my doctor at my last prenatal appointment. Most of that time was in the tiny exam room, just one chair and a speculum and a rack of pregnancy magazines. Four paces across, in case you’re wondering. Not that I spent 90% of that wait pacing back and forth, feeling trapped in pregnancy jail, wishing I had saved at least one of my snacks beyond the first 10 minutes of that interminable wait.
I flipped through a few of those magazines but quickly went back to pacing the room like a madwoman. What a load of bullshit they are, with headlines like:
Love your partner the whole 9 months
🙄 Right. That’s totally possible.
Gain just enough weight: 6 little secrets that make it simple
Does puking all day count as one of the secrets?
No more jelly belly: lose the baby fat fast
You are definitely not ready for this jelly.
Anyway. While the hangry ramped up with every round trip across the exam room, I started imagining what an honest pregnancy magazine would cover. And then I decided to make one.
What do you think? What’s on YOUR pregnancy magazine cover?